|Starfire from Red Hood and the Outlaws, New Teen Titans, et al.|
Have I mentioned yet that in addition to depression and anxiety, I’ve been definitely diagnosed with ADD? I don't think I have. And here I was thinking the whole ‘the more tabs you have open the more likely you are to have ADHD’ thing was a joke. (I generally have between 25-40 tabs open at a time)
On the other hand, the antidepressant is definitely kicking in after about a month and a half, and I’m utterly fucking gleeful over how good it feels to be…well. Functional. Functional is good. I’m not crashing every couple of days, and that more than anything is a really massive fucking relief. And hopefully by the end of the week we’ll see if the rest of the meds are doing their job.
idk, I had a long conversation with a friend today that basically led to me confessing that my depression was so damn severe that, in order to avoid spiraling into an eating disorder like I’d heard so much about, I went to the other extreme, ignoring myself to the point where my own reflection surprises me and I’m not comfortable being referred to by name. I still have nasty moments where I can’t quite connect with all my limbs, I have out-of-body experiences at least once a day, and I still get bruises because I underestimate how much space I actually take up. I don’t know where over half my scars came from, and I always have to ask other people if anything’s changed about me because I cannot fucking tell.
Yeah. Uh. If you see someone struggling, for the love of god help them before they go as far down that road as I did. Recovery is a long, difficult road and really damn expensive.
I should go to sleep now. 3 AM rambly thoughts aren’t always the best decisions to make, but I had to get that out. Also I haven't updated this journal in a year and a half and I wanted to let whoever hasn't just started following me on Tumblr that I'm actually alive and my job hasn't managed to drag me away from the internet.